Italia express_ abbon-dunzo! _ red dirt report

I have gone on record many times in the past over my dislike of Italian food but, as someone whose job it is to eat it occasionally, I continue on my Cain in Kung Fu-like search for that one place that’ll turn my head and change my mind with only the words “Mamma mia!” leaving my sauce-stained lips.

Located at 2800 N. Noodles and company racine Classen Blvd. Noodles and company sioux falls in a shopping center normally reserved for the needs of the area’s Vietnamese population, the out-of-place Italia Express has recently opened up for business, offering a change of pace and place with its wide selection of pizzas and pastas.

When my guest and I stopped by there for lunch last week, the place was absolutely barren.

Menu for noodles No big deal, the place is still new and maybe toes are afraid to be dipped in cold marinara. Noodles and company germantown The service was welcoming and more than helpful to talk about their cuisine, which definitely prepared us for the best. Dc noodles menu Their sales techniques were above and beyond.

Too bad I couldn’t say the same for the food. Noodles and company kansas city We started off with an appetizer of stuffed mushrooms ($5.99), consisting of six plump fungi filled with crabmeat, carrots, celery and mozzarella and topped with a brandy cream sauce. What is noodles and company At least that is what the menu said.

When the dish actually arrived at the table however, it was a vitriolic monstrosity that would’ve left Gordon Ramsey spewing a trail of expletives. Noodles and company eldersburg Unappetizing to look at, this multi-colored mess tasted off, with the fresh sauce clashing with the stale mushrooms, which I’m sure had to have been formerly frozen.

But even that was a masterpiece compared to our main pasta orders, he with the Linguini Bongole in a white clam sauce ($6.99) and I going old-school with a serving of Spaghetti and meatballs ($6.99). Noodles and company edina Now, for reals, it is hard to truly screw up spaghetti, but damned if Italia Express didn’t reach a new apex; absolutely watery tomato sauce that barely covered the poorly drained pasta, topped with a couple of flavorless balls of meat that were dry and desperate for a mildly ethnic grandmother’s love.

My guest’s Linguini Bongole—such an appropriate name—was even more liquidic than mine, taking on the consistency of someone dumping a bowl of chicken noodle soup onto a dinner plate and saying “Shut up and eat it.” No flavor, no feeling…no way to enjoy it without the copious amounts of deliciously fresh garlic bread that was consistently delivered to the table and thank God for that.

Having such a great experience with said bread, I figured I might as well try one of their sandwiches, settling on a Sausage Parmesan sub ($5.99) that at first glance looked tasty and toasty, but as my grubby mitts wrapped themselves around the sandwich, then did I discover the entire bottom of the sub was wet and soggy, falling apart on my lap, lone meatball hitting the floor, rolling away on a new adventure. Noodles and company shorewood What an abject disappointment. Noodles and company menu calories A wet sandwich… a freakin’ wet sandwich!

Offering catering, family packages and even delivery, I can see the temptation, especially in the Classen area, to want to order a four-piece for the fam after a hard day’s work. Yellow noodles I say go ahead, maybe your experiences will be different than mine. Noodles and company 27th st I’m always willing to give any new joint the benefit of the doubt.

Like the shape of the country this cuisine hails from, Italia Express is a boot to the gut, an amateurish waste of money and a dining experience in extreme need of a culinary makeover. Noodles and company hours of operation It almost makes me want to go back to the Olive Garden for the sheer subtly of their famed soup, salad and breadsticks combo. Noodles denver Almost.

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